About

A raffle-winning author (a girls’ bike at the Holtspur Middle School Fete in 1983) I’ve never won anything else in my entire life. Since starting out as a writer in 2005 I’ve written about 100 books for adults and children, fiction and non-fiction, and single-handedly invented the art of Post-it Note Origami (I can prove this). Sometimes I use my own name on my books, sometimes I don’t, so you’ll never find everything I’ve written. I’m mysterious like that. I have two books in development with major movies studios, so that’s nice, and live in France with m’lovely wife, three children and a dog called Licky who should be dead by now.

Fun stuff to know and learn about Martin!

Not-Very-Frequently Asked Questions

WHEN DID YOU DECIDE TO BECOME A WRITER?

On a bus to London in 1985. I looked like this …

It was the 80’s!

IS THAT THE MOST RIDICULOUS YOU HAVE EVER LOOKED?

No, I’ve had many idiotic looks over the years. Take a look…

This….
And this…

WHAT’S THE MOST PAIN YOU’VE EVER BEEN IN? Giving birth. My wife held my hand so tight she nearly broke my fingers. Luckily, there was gas and air.

BEST PLACE YOU’VE EVER BEEN?

Viva Las Vegas, where I danced on a glass dance floor thirty stories up so you can see tiny cars going by below your feet. Also, I met Elvis.

HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN AN ELEPHANT?

Yes.

YOU WRITE BOOKS. EXACTLY HOW RICH ARE YOU?

Most of my clothes come from charity shops.

 FAVOURITE BOOK OF ALL TIME?

I like to say Vanity Fair because it makes me look intelligent but really it’s My Embarrassing Dad’s Gone Viral by Ben Davis. I connect with the embarrassing dad character on a deep emotional level.

 LAST BOOK YOU READ?

Enlightenment Now by Stephen Pinker. It’s about how there’s a lot of hope for the future even though the news is always so gloomy. I like that. I’m a bright-side kind of person.

WHAT’S THE WORST THING ABOUT WRITING?

It’s horrible when you spend a lot of time on something and it doesn’t come out how you want. I once spent an entire year on a book then scrapped it.

AND THE BEST THING?

When it does come out right, and suddenly there’s a whole new world in front of you that you created.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

Writing about Neil Armstrong, the first man on the moon. When he died his family released a statement that said “Next time you look up at the moon, think about Neil and give him a wink.” That choked me up.

 DOES PINEAPPLE BELONG ON PIZZA?

No, it’s an abomination.

DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE EMBARRASSING PHOTOS?

Millions. I look like a nong in every photo ever taken of me. See …

I told you….